A Mother and a Wife

So this is what can happen sometimes as a stay at home mom, we can begin to choose some pretty odd outfits in the craziness of life. I asked Tommy to take a photo of me wearing what was supposed to be an exercise outfit but what ended up being my attire for the day! I thought I would post it, to remind myself and all those ladies out there that although we don't need to look great everyday, it is important to try to look beautiful for your husbands. I remember when I started dating Tommy and when I knew I would see him I got all prepared. I would fix my hair and spend extra time on my makeup and choose just the right outfit. When I had Kara and now Noah, it became a little bit harder to spend that time. When you have spit up on your shoulder and your morning is so busy your lucky if you even have had time to brush your teeth, sometimes doing something extra like your makeup is the last thing on your mind.

So my challenge is this:

Try to think about some extra things you can do to look like a wife and not always a mother. Sometimes when I think about myself I feel like my children define me. I am a mother. That is primarily what I do, and at times it is hard to remember I am also first a wife, and should try to look like one every once in a while. Of course we should not be defined by anything other than our relationship with Christ, but you know what I mean.

Just today as I was riding in the car with Tommy, with Kara and Noah in the back, I started to think. I was looking over at Tommy, and like so many times lately, I was struck with how much I love my dear husband. I was doing my makeup in the mirror and I was wondering what he was thinking, I wondered if he looked at me as his children's mother or as his wife. Of course he looks at me as both, but if I constantly think and act like a mother in front of him, and never do things to show him I still desire for him to see me as his adoring wife, how can I expect him to see me as a wife also. I think sometimes in marriage we get so tied up in kids and all that they require, that we take the focus off of our relationship with our husbands and we accidentally fall into the pattern of children first and husband second. When we do this not only does our marriage suffer, but in the long run we won't be giving our children the best we can. Children long to see there parents in love, and will feel more secure if they know there parent's relationship is secure and healthy.

And so...lets start spicing up our marriages by trying just a little harder to look like we did when we first met our husbands. Show them that you care enough about yourself and them, that you are willing to put a little work into your appearance. Its ok to have some days where you wear pink leggings, and a bright green shirt with exercise shoes that are way past needing to be replaced, but balance that with days where your husband will look at you and say," Wow! What a beautiful and thoughtful woman I married." I hope my husband can still look at me and say that, and I pray as I try even harder he can say it even more often.