Routines Update

Little update on how my new journey with a routine for Noah is going:

He is now sleeping 5 or 6 hours in the beginning of the night and really just waking up once to eat, this is wonderful!

All I can say is there is a profound difference between the way Kara was when she was a baby as far as sleep, and the way that Noah is. I feel much more at ease because I know what is going to happen next, and I don't need to be stressed about everything being chaotic as it can sometimes be with a newborn.

I am very grateful that I am doing this and it is working so well! This is a great thing to do when you have a new baby but it is also possible in the later months, it might just take a while to get established. I recommend finding a good book that some experienced moms have tried, I know there are many!

Just thought I would let you know that it is still working for anyone who might want to know or might want to try it themselves. I am a much better rested mommy and I am so thankful that people told me this works and now I can share it with others!

A Mother and a Wife

So this is what can happen sometimes as a stay at home mom, we can begin to choose some pretty odd outfits in the craziness of life. I asked Tommy to take a photo of me wearing what was supposed to be an exercise outfit but what ended up being my attire for the day! I thought I would post it, to remind myself and all those ladies out there that although we don't need to look great everyday, it is important to try to look beautiful for your husbands. I remember when I started dating Tommy and when I knew I would see him I got all prepared. I would fix my hair and spend extra time on my makeup and choose just the right outfit. When I had Kara and now Noah, it became a little bit harder to spend that time. When you have spit up on your shoulder and your morning is so busy your lucky if you even have had time to brush your teeth, sometimes doing something extra like your makeup is the last thing on your mind.

So my challenge is this:

Try to think about some extra things you can do to look like a wife and not always a mother. Sometimes when I think about myself I feel like my children define me. I am a mother. That is primarily what I do, and at times it is hard to remember I am also first a wife, and should try to look like one every once in a while. Of course we should not be defined by anything other than our relationship with Christ, but you know what I mean.

Just today as I was riding in the car with Tommy, with Kara and Noah in the back, I started to think. I was looking over at Tommy, and like so many times lately, I was struck with how much I love my dear husband. I was doing my makeup in the mirror and I was wondering what he was thinking, I wondered if he looked at me as his children's mother or as his wife. Of course he looks at me as both, but if I constantly think and act like a mother in front of him, and never do things to show him I still desire for him to see me as his adoring wife, how can I expect him to see me as a wife also. I think sometimes in marriage we get so tied up in kids and all that they require, that we take the focus off of our relationship with our husbands and we accidentally fall into the pattern of children first and husband second. When we do this not only does our marriage suffer, but in the long run we won't be giving our children the best we can. Children long to see there parents in love, and will feel more secure if they know there parent's relationship is secure and healthy.

And so...lets start spicing up our marriages by trying just a little harder to look like we did when we first met our husbands. Show them that you care enough about yourself and them, that you are willing to put a little work into your appearance. Its ok to have some days where you wear pink leggings, and a bright green shirt with exercise shoes that are way past needing to be replaced, but balance that with days where your husband will look at you and say," Wow! What a beautiful and thoughtful woman I married." I hope my husband can still look at me and say that, and I pray as I try even harder he can say it even more often.

The Joy of the Home

When someone looks at this picture what might they think? Maybe they are thinking this lady looks like she might be a good cook, or maybe a bad one since she looks so confused. Maybe they are thinking, "Good for her, at home in the kitchen where she should be!" Or maybe their thoughts are more along the lines of, "What a waste of time! Get out in the real world and have a career!"

Now I realize this is just a picture and it is obviously something someone took for an advertisement or something to that effect, but I wonder how it makes different women feel. It used to be that staying at home to raise our children, cooking, cleaning, and being our husband's helper were all good things and it was just what a woman did. Then the feminism movement kicked in and suddenly you were dull and uneducated if you stayed at home to tend to your family. And now although we still tend to veer towards the side of feminism, there is a strong movement of women who are making the choice to be homemakers.

At first when you think about what a homemaker is, you might feel like it is another form of being a maid or some lower level job. Or perhaps you find that it is an honorable thing but feel you would be missing out if you did not have a career. Certainly changing poopy diapers and dealing with screaming toddlers is not something for an educated women to be doing! This is what we have been taught by the world's leading women who say that being a career women is going to fulfill us and climbing the corporate ladder is what will give us our place in this world.

On the other hand, the Bible teaches that the mindset of these feminist we come across is not only wrong but actually goes against what God has in mind for wives and mothers. The opposite is true when you read the Word and realize that staying at home is not subjecting yourself to slavery but instead is placing yourself in a position of godly servant hood.

Titus 2:3-5 says:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

What does this passage say the older women are to teach the younger?

Number one is to love their husbands and their children. When we look at what the love if Christ is, we can understand that true love in its purest form is selfless and not seeking the good of ourselves but unconditionally looking to better the lives of the precious husband and sweet children God has so graciously entrusted us with.

Secondly, this verse says that we are to be self-controlled and pure. Our character should be one of discipline and a heart that is pure. That means to hold our tongues and to watch the things we wear and to be an example to other women and to our daughters. We also need to be disciplined with how we take care of our bodies that God has given to us and to live a life that is characterized by saying no to our flesh and saying yes to God's commands.

Thirdly, it says we should be workers of the home, this means that our PRIORITY must be our homes. I know that there are situations where women must work outside the home for one reason or the other, but if you are working full time because you just want to or are unsatisfied being a homemaker, you must ask yourself if your husband and kids are your priority. Are you able to have the emotional, physical, and spiritual stamina to invest in your kids and your husband when you are with them. Are you able to shepard them and teach them in the ways of the Lord and monitor what they are learning? Each woman must go before the Lord and ask what He wants them to do and seek Him for how they should care for their households. I am certainly not saying that to be a good and effective mother you MUST stay at home, I know many godly women who have worked outside the home, but I am just saying that we must examine our priorities and put them in line with God's desires for us and our families. I also think it can be a great thing to be creative while at home and try to lift some of the burden off of our husbands by earning a little income. For example, when we first moved to Kentucky, I was able to watch two children in my home while Tommy looked for a job. This really helped Tommy to be able to feel like he had a little more time to find something that would actually meet our needs, and I was able to help out! The goal is for our children, husbands and homes to come first, we must ask the Lord to show us how we can best do this.

Fourth, this verse calls us to be kind. This can be manifested in everything we do, and how we treat everyone, but think specifically about how you can be a kind wife and mother. Sometimes I struggle with having a sweet spirit, I think and act in a way that is far from exuding kindness. It is easy to become so overwhelmed with all of our responsibilities that we become bitter and rude women who are difficult to be around. I know sometimes for me I have no problem being kind to friends and other family, but I can't seem to treat my husband with respect. A godly wife and mother will be kind to her family.

Last on the list of traits we should be aspiring to learn, is the command to submit to our husbands. Just the very word "submit" can make you cringe when you hear it, especially for women who are opinionated and independent. I am one such woman, and I know that submitting to my husband is very hard for me at times. So what does it mean to submit? Feminism teaches us that submitting is making yourself lower than your husband, and therefore allowing him to dominate and control you, giving him all the power, and leaving you weak and helpless. This is a vicous lie that takes what God has set up as an equal partnership with different roles, into something that resembles the slave and master relationship. If we actually understand submissiveness, and really learn to apply it to our marriages, we will see a better and more balanced marriage. A godly husband will not dominate a submissive wife, but instead he will lead her and guide her. Of course our husbands are imperfect and will sometimes lead us in a wrong direction, but that is between him and the Lord, our responsibility is to follow our husbands unless what they are doing is in contrary to the Bible. When we respectfully submit to our husbands leadership we are fulfilling our roles as godly wives and making it easier for them to do the role that God has commissioned them. Just as we desire to be loved and understood, our husbands desire to be respected and trusted. However, this is no easy task, and we can only do it with prayerful diligence and daily reading of God's Word.

This passage is extremely convicting to say the least, and will take a lifetime to become good at, but if we desire to be effective wives and mothers it should be something we aspire to do. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home and be a full time mom and wife, and I thank God He has blessed me so richly. There has been many times when we have not been sure how we would pay the bills or get by financially but God has provided in some pretty neat ways. Praise God for His miraculous works and His wisdom to help us in this large task! What a precious and joyous thing it is to be able to nurture those in our homes!

Proverbs 3:5

" Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Sometimes my own understanding is quite wrong, and at times very damaging. Has there ever been a time when you have felt so completly lost and confused with where your life is going? I know I have, and when I feel this way it is usally because I am looking at things the way I understand them to be.

Recently Kara graduated to the 2's class at church, and is now learning scripture passages on Sundays. We were sent home with twelve verses on cards that could be stuck to the refrigerator, one for each month of the year. The goal is to practice the verses with Kara throughout the next two years at the same time as the sunday school is going over them in class each week. As you can probably guess, the verse for July is Proverbs 3:5.

This verse is a familiar one, and as with all familiar verses, it seems to have lost its effect on me. I think sometimes when we hear a verse so often, we sometimes become callous to its meaning and impact on our lives. But this verse should truly be one we think about and study on a daily basis when we think about what it is saying.

To trust in the Lord is a very hard thing most of the time, because naturally we would rather trust in something we can see or hear. Its much easier for me to trust Tommy to help me or my parents, because I can see them and know that they are there. We can become so dependent on our human relationships because we are looking to them for guidance and placing our hope and trust in what they can provide for us. This is a big muistake since we all know that every person, know matter how wonderful, will always at some point let us down. This is the differnece between them and God, for God will never let us down and His promises are always fulfilled. Why then do we not trust the Lord with the things of our lives? This must be the question we ask ourselves and commit to changing on a daily basis.

Not only are we to trust God, but we are to trust Him with all of our hearts. I think that this means that with everything we have within us we must trust God to take care of us. There is always something we are holding back from Him, something that we refuse to lay at His feet, but we must fight against this and give everything to Him.

It should be our goal to let go of things the way we perceive them and instead look at them from God's eyes. Our own way of thinking is always tainted by our sin nature and our desire for self gratification. God's way of thinking is pure and holy and it should be our constant aim to think the way He does. As we spend time in scripture and in prayer we can become more Christ-like and more centered on living a life wholly pleasing to Him.

I pray that I can truly trust the Lord with all my heart, and lean on Him for understanding, forsaking my own way of thinking and embracing His holy way of thinking.

Routines

Since I have had Noah I have decided to do things a little differently than when Kara was a newborn. With Kara I was so new at everything and I didn't know how much a routine could serve our family as a way of making life a little less complicated.

I have always been against schedules and the kind of people who teach that you have to have an exact time to everything. So it took me a while to accept the idea of a routine, something that serves you as opposed to a schedule that is very restricting and stressful.

We all do much better if we have a little structure to our day, and I think a newborn is the same way. A newborn spends nine months in your tummy, and they come out with only those around them to teach them how to be. Needless to say, it is very important to help your baby along in the process of gaining independence.

Kara did not sleep through the night until she was 1 year old. She only finally started doing this because she weaned herself off of breastfeeding and once she did that she did not need to nurse to put herself to sleep. I made the mistake of nursing her to sleep for all her naps and each night at bedtime, so she was unable to fall asleep any other way. I tried to reverse this once I realized but by then she was to far gone. So when I got pregnant with Noah I was ready to do something different.

I am a huge believer in reading and educating ourselves as parents. I think that God has definitely given women intuition into how to care for children, but I do think there is wisdom in knowing what other people have done that has worked. For the most part I think it is best to stick with books that are written by godly people who glean their knowledge from the Bible, but on subjects of a more practical nature like routines or medical health it is sometimes helpful to read books from all kinds of people.

The Baby Whisperer is the most recent parenting book I have read, and I found it to be very helpful in many ways. I would not recommend the portion about toddler discipline since it has no biblical foundation and seems to be most unhelpful :)

I have found that the portion on a routine and feeding schedule has been very encouraging and has helped me to feel a little more balanced and a lot less stressed than I was when Kara was a newborn.

The basic premise is that you feed your baby every 2 1/2 to 3 hours and you make sure they have a little wake time after each feeding. After they have activity time you put them down for a nap and have time for yourself. She calls her routine E.A.S.Y, which stands for Eat, Activity, Sleep, and You! The main point is to not let them sleep to much in the day and to not let them fall asleep while nursing if possible. She says that babies who learn to put themselves to sleep will be more successful at sleeping through the night because when they wake up in the night or partially awaken they can self soothe. This is not always possible with a newborn and the point of this routine is to be a goal, not something that you do exactly or that ties you down.

I am not much for schedules and routines, and I am usually very go with the flow. I am all about creativity and not tying my children down with to many restrictions. I was hesitant to try this but because so many wise and godly mothers recommended some sort of routine I tried it. I have found that it has worked and it seems like Noah is already on a much better path for sleeping than Kara was. However, I am also not about to be so strict with my routine that I miss out on the special moments I can have with my babies. They will only be newborns once and there is nothing like holding that precious little baby in your arms and watching them sleep. So like anything in life there must be balance, and we must not get so rigid we miss out on the special things in life.

I definitely don't think you need a routine to be a good parent, and I know many wonderful parents who never read or followed anything. Just thought what I had learned might be helpful and I do recommend that book as a helpful guide and a good way to get some extra sleep :)

Meet Bear H

Every parent dreams about their child's birthday, especially when they kinda understand it for the first time. This was the case with me for the last week or so as I thought of something that would be memorable and special for Kara's second birthday.

Saturday morning, July 17th we headed off on a family excursion to Build a Bear for the birthday girls surprise. I was so excited as I thought of the joy she would have picking out and animal and watching it get stuffed with life and lots of stuffing! I thought about how she would pick out some fun clothes for it, and dress it in her choice of apparel. I thought about how we would choose a name for it, and head home with her new best friend!

It was going to be great!

Now for the real story! We pulled up and got Kara out of her car seat. She started to cry because I took away the cheap and old bear she had brought along with her that came from who knows where. I explained that we were going to get a new bear and that she was going to get it in the cool store with the bears all over the front! She cheered up as we entered the store and saw all the toys. After a few minutes of debating who would be lucky enough to be stuffed and sent home with us, we settled on a white, fluffy, lovable, little bear.

Suddenly with a look of horror, Kara saw all the animals of the other children getting stuffed! With a look of absolute dread on her face, she let out a loud and terrifying wail for the whole store to hear! I wondered what could possibly be the matter! Here we were picking out a new toy and she way screaming! She started to say something and as I listened I heard her say, "hurt!" Why was she saying this? I had no idea so we proceeded to stand in line to stuff her new bear and hope that she calmed down as she saw it get bigger.

We walked up to the "stuffer lady" and handed her our flat little friend. As she placed it on the fluffer and turned on the machine, Kara began her sobbing yet again. "Hurt!" she cried! It was then that my wise husband realized that she was afraid for her bear! All this time she had been upset about the bears being stuffed, she thought they were getting hurt! Something I thought would be so special was instead so scary to a little 2 year old!

After her bear was done in the torture chamber we headed over to clothe it. We picked out a little shirt that had a cupcake and said "Happy Birthday." By this time she was way past her limit and was still crying, I guess when you see bears get stuffed it has this effect on you. We headed over to the computer to create the birth certificate to our new friend and sat down to choose a name. "What would you like to name your bear Kara?" I waited for her response, knowing it would be something entertaining. "Bear H" she said with a still sad voice, and so with that we named it Bear H. Why she wanted to name it Bear H, or where she even came up with that in her sweet little head is beyond my imagination, but I was not about to say no. And so the birth certificate says Bear H.

Now that the trauma is over and Bear H is home safe and sound, I am glad we went. Despite the fact that she screamed the whole time, she is now completely obsessed with Bear H and carries her around everywhere. She has given the bear the nickname H and loves it with all her heart!

That is the story of Bear H and how we rescued her from the scary, stuffer and gave her a happy home and a very doting mother :)

Vaccines....Friend or Foe? Part 2

As christian parents we question many things that the world does morally, we not only question but we go against the majority and do what is best for our kids. We should also be asking questions about everyday life stuff. Remember that Vaccinations are a billion dollar industry and so they will be pushed and pushed and more will be created, so we must ask questions and understand each one.

Most of what I have written is just my own thoughts, I don't feel like I could accurately compile a lot of research because so much of it is a bunch of different opinions, but I can recommend some resources I have found helpful. The best book on vaccines as a whole that I have found is called "The Vaccine Book" by Dr. Sears. This book is very thorough and covers each vaccine preventable illness, its cause, whether or not its curable, the ingredients in the vaccine, the side effect profile, and his opinion on how important it is for your child. Dr. Sears is definitely pro vaccine, but he does give an alternate schedule for parents who want to limit some of the shots or spread them out a little. You can also check out his website askdrsears.com.

I also read a very thought provoking article as well by another doctor who makes the case for waiting to vaccinate until age two. Even if you disagree with waiting that long, the information is still very helpful.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/miller/miller15.html

If you are interested to know the vaccines that I choose for my kids and why here is the list:

1) HIB- This vaccine has been around for a long time, and although it is not very prevalent in the states anymore, if your child were to catch it, it can be serious. There is also a very low side effect profile on this vaccine so it is not very probable of any short or long term effects.

2) Polio- Although this disease is basically eradicated from our country getting your child vaccinated can assure it stays gone. This vaccine has also been around for a long time and so we can see there has not been a consistent problem with it.

3) DTaP- This vaccine is a combination of Tetanus, Pertussis, and Diphtheria. This vaccine answers yes to both my questions so I choose to get it.

4) Hepatitis A- This is one I am still deciding on and will probably get when my kids are older.

5) MMR- This one I would like to see separated into 3 separate shots again as an option. Each part of this vaccine is made of the live virus, so I am not really a fan of giving three live virus vaccines at once. It used to be that you could get them separated but they stopped making them that way and I hope they will do it again.

All the other vaccines I don't do because either they are to new for me to feel comfortable with, or the disease is easily treated at home so I don't see the purpose.

The only other one to mention is Hepatitis B. I feel as if this vaccine is used to prevent something that is usually caused by promiscuity, or using needles for drugs. There are some people who need it, for instance if you are in the medical profession or if you go overseas where there is a chance you could have to be treated at a hospital with less than high standards in cleanliness. In most other cases I feel like we are just vaccinating sin. I also worry about this vaccine being given to most infants at birth and the reasons behind this. When reading why we started administering this at birth I found that the argument for the people who were pushing it was that adults who were promiscuous or homosexuals would most likely not get this when they were older so we might as well vaccinate all babies to protect them from sexual disease. Never mind that they are bringing the disease on themselves by living lives contrary to the Bible and engaging in a sinful lifestyle. So, most of the time I think it is pointless to give a vaccine which was not even tested for infants, to all babies at birth when the majority of people who it helps are those who are bringing it on themselves. This may seem harsh, but if there are no consequences for our sins how will we learn?

I think I have rambled long enough on this topic, I could probably go on and on but I will spare you.

Please know this is all just my OPINION and I am by no means an expert in any way. I just thought it would be good to write it all down and just present my ideas and findings. I am not in any way saying that if you don't vaccinate this way you are wrong or a bad parent, this is just simply one way of doing it!